Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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