not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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