Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
