she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize