Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
