Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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