I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hippo gnu deer
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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