you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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