You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
