you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
