i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
