Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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