you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize