I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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