I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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