I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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