I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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