just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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