Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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