1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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