My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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