I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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