Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
