I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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