and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
