I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
