I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
