I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
