ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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