I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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