Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
