GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize