I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.