She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
