You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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