if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
