sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
