Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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