So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
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the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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