I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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