I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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