And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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