i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
