What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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