i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
