dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
