Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
