I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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