Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
