Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
