Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Drake has all the answers
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
