in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We smell like vodka and hangover
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