It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
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Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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