You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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