It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
