It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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