Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize