just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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